Archive | March, 2012

The Sex Trap

31 Mar

Why would we want to own a word like slut? Why not choose to own words that have nothing to do with sex? Why not own the word “Independent” or” Strong” or “Empowered” ? Especially knowing that females in patriarchy are by male design considered to be the sex class? Especially knowing that when it comes to talking about female liberation or equality we always end up debating and actively fighting each other about sex. Why?? Why do we focus on our sex? Are we not human beings? Because we are conditioned to believe females are nothing more than sex, our male prescribed role in patriarchy, we get caught in the trap of arguing about sex like it is the only thing that matters when it comes to being female. This conditioning is extremely evident in feminism and it has divided feminists into opposing groups that actively fight each other, the sex positives, the liberal feminists and the radical feminists.

The sex positives and liberal feminists are focused on claiming the word slut and the sex trade in an effort to claim empowerment. This unfortunately is a trap. It keeps them fighting for the right to like sexually pleasing men, a right that they already have in abundance, instead of on liberation and equality. This is a male wet dream. Not only does this keep women divided against each other, it also keeps women in their place as the sex class. Men created the gender roles of male and female and it was by their design that females were conditioned to serve men sexually and otherwise. In patriarchy, women are considered to be sex, not human beings who matter for their own sake. Men on the other hand are human beings that matter for their own sake. When it comes to talking about men, we don’t get stuck in debating about their sexual preferences. So why are we allowing sex to divide us as feminists? Why do we get caught in the sex trap?

When we focus on reclaiming the word slut and on the sex trades pros and cons we fight each other and lose sight of female empowerment and equality which for the most part has nothing to do with sex.  Sex does not = female empowerment, just like sex does not = male empowerment. Sex is just a small aspect of who we are as women and sex is the one role that men have forced us into.  Men and unfortunately most women, have been programed to believe that women are the sex class.  That women are sex. That women are sex objects. So if women are sex in patriarchy and women are fighting to break the chains of patriarchal conditioning and male designed gender roles, how can we  do this by claiming to own or like what we are fighting to break out of?  When we fight for the right to claim the word slut and claim the sex trade as our own, are we not essentially fighting to be what men have already designed us to be in patriarchy?  Are we not playing right into the hands of our oppressors? Shouldn’t we instead focus our female energy on becoming autonomous & powerful so that we can celebrate and express our strengths as human beings?


Females are Sex

17 Mar

I posted this article, from I Blame the Patriarchy because a certain paragraph stood out for me in regards to all the debate we have been having here on this site regarding the sex-positive posts:

I allege that, in a patriarchy, all images of women, particularly but not limited to those that involve nudity, and particularly but not        limited  to those that allude to a traditional cheesecake aesthetic, are inherently pornographic. I allege this not because I believe that women  are themselves inherently degraded pornbot livestock, but because the imagery is always realized under the auspices of — and for an audience acclimated to — a culture of pornsick patriarchal oppression. Images of women can only be interpreted from within a framework of misogyny that universally defines women in terms of male desire, male fantasy, male incontinence, and male power. No framework for interpretation exists other than that which defines women as the sex class.”

The writer is suggesting here that it doesn’t matter what the females are trying to protest by being nude and we can insert here as well that it equally doesn’t matter whether or not women feel empowered by being strippers, prostitutes or porn stars, they ultimately will be interpreted by male voyeurs or the johns or punters in the patriarchal framework of misogyny because no other framework exists. Consequently, the sex positive “feminists” will continue to feed right into this misogynist framework even though this is not their intention. By choosing to promote their sex, only one small aspect of who they are as women, the only aspect of themselves that men claim ownership over, they are promoting that yes indeed women are sex, nothing more.

Females in our society have been conditioned to be the sex class and unfortunately, I can see this conditioning everywhere I look and especially at feminist sites.  I think it is extremely ironic that feminists are focused on sex when we talk about female equality and liberation. A female’s sexuality is only one small portion of who she is and the sex act is something that she can live without not to mention that the availability of females for sex is one subject that is extremely important to men; however, even so, we are still primarily focused on female sex and the question of whether or not female sex is empowering.

What is more revealing is that we don’t question why we are focused on female sex; we don’t ask ourselves why we are stuck on this subject? We instead go on and on and argue the pros and cons of female sex. The liberal and sex positive feminists argue that choosing to be strippers, sex workers or porn stars can be empowering because females are free to choose; the empowerment then hinging on the choice. The Radical Feminists argue that just because females are free to choose to work in the sex industry doesn’t mean that it is empowering, but quite the opposite, it means that females are choosing to objectify themselves and this sends the wrong message to women and men, that women like being sexually objectified.

We get caught up in this sex debate not realizing that we are doing this because we are stuck in our own conditioning, playing it out like puppets of a sinister patriarchal play. I am suggesting here that it is the non-questioning that is important here not the pros or cons of female sexuality.  In other words, the reason why we don’t think about why we are focused on female sex is because the idea that females are sex, is a male idea that is built into patriarchy and into our minds.  That is why female sex is the foundation of most discourse regarding female equality and liberation. This mentality or idea is  normalized to the extent that we don’t see it and this is a win, win situation for our male oppressors because when we continue to debate female sexuality, we continue to live within the patriarchal confines of the male prescribed female. We are sidetracked into the subject that they hold the dearest and if we are sidetracked into fighting about female sexuality, we are not debating the important female issues such as equality, sexism and misogyny.

Unfortunately, a female for female’s sake doesn’t exist in patriarchy. In other words without her sex, she is invisible. Men exist just because they are men regardless of their sexual preferences. They exist because they are seen as autonomous human beings. I want to scream to the heavens that females are not sex! They are autonomous powerful human beings and this has nothing to do with sex! Instead of having off shoots of feminism celebrating female sex, fighting for the right to just love sex such as the sex positive feminists, why not off shoots of feminism that celebrate our autonomy, our power as females? When we fight for the right to enjoy sex with men, we aren’t fighting for something we don’t already have. We aren’t thinking outside the patriarchal box. Because to have sex with men is one of our only rights that is spoon fed to us every day of our female lives! It feels like there is literally a giant red blinking neon sign that says, MUST HAVE SEX WITH MEN — MUST HAVE SEX WITH MEN–MUST HAVE SEX WITH MEN constantly running across my line of vision. Females are programmed to have sex with men. They are groomed for this very reason! So why are we still fighting for something that we already have in spades?

When we continue to fight with each other over this sex issue, we play right into the hands of our oppressors. When we fight for the right to feel empowered by sexually pleasing men, we continue to make men our legitimizers. We need to stand apart from men and legitimize ourselves; therefore, our sex whether we like it or not, whether we want to have it with men or women or not at all, should be irrelevant because…….wait for it…..