Hear Ye, Hear Ye, Read all About it! Men are Victims to Pornography!

17 Nov

There have been studies that suggest that men have less empathy due to elevated testosterone. If these studies are accurate (and not just more biological essentialist BS) and our patriarchal masculine war centered society pumps up the volume on testosterone–promoting it & even worshiping it — then male empathy in said society would be lacking due to these factors. This of course is dependent on many variables. Genetics, environment, primary socialization, secondary socialization etc…. I’ve seen men who are very empathetic and young boys who show emotion and get bullied from other boys because of it–basically they are bullied right out of expressing emotions in a healthy way and promoted to only show it in angry ways. My first husband would yell at my son telling him to stop crying and he told me he did this because he didn’t want him to be bullied in school for showing emotion around other boys (because that is what happened to him).

I think our masculine patriarchal culture frowns upon men feeling any emotion except anger so when a man is hurt he is not allowed to process this hurt (by outwardly emoting) and is instead promoted to externalize it as anger and to process his hurt feelings in the only socially condoned way–by taking it out on women. And since women are seen as sex objects and are the sex class in patriarchy, not considered to be autonomous human beings, but owned by men, the development of pornography makes perfect sense in this unhealthy environment. Pornography becomes the ideal outlet for men to take their anger out on women sexually.  It is about cause and effect.  The cause is patriarchy and all of its horrific unhealthy mechanisms, including but not limited to; misogyny, gender roles & compulsory heterosexuality.  The effect is pornography.

Lately there has been a lot discussion about pornography being addictive for men. That they can’t stop viewing it because they are addicted to  to the sexual violence.  Although pornography is an obvious symptom of patriarchy, I think it is problematic if not dangerous to focus on pornography as an addiction, because by doing so, we forget about the cause of pornography and its dangers and only focus on the effect–specifically the effect on men.  Further, if we don’t eliminate the root cause, another platform for men to act out the misogyny inherit in our society will crop up.  Pornography is merely the symptom of a much larger disease.  If we claim that pornography is an addiction which then leads to claiming it is a disease (because the USA claims addiction is a disease even though this was never scientifically or medically proven and all other countries do not accept the “disease” model of addiction), then we only focus on the symptom and not on the disease itself, much like most of our medical institutions created in patriarchy focus on treating the symptoms and not the whole person or the disease, we also eliminate any conversation or analysis of the root cause.  I can imagine then that we begin to demonize the women in pornography (the actual victims). I can see the headlines now:

“Here ye!  Here ye! Read all about it!  Pornography is a disease afflicting men around the world!  Those unwholesome female porn stars are causing men pain and suffering!!  We need to save these men from those heathens!!

This type of mentality already exists regarding prostituted women. The term “prostitution” is revealing in itself because it only speaks about the act of women prostituting themselves and not the men who drive the demand due to their own misogyny and idea that they can purchase females like commodities to rape for money.  Prostituted women are demonized and blamed for tempting men to do evil things. The men aren’t looked at or blamed for their actions and most of the time, they aren’t held responsible legally either.  This is a tradition in patriarchy to blame women for male sexual perversions.  I don’t know what the answer is within the patriarchal frame, but I do know that continuing to claim that men are victims to their misogynist choices is not the answer.  This stance has never helped to solve the epidemic of prostituted, sexually trafficked (including in pornography) girls and women who are used and abused and thrown away like used condoms, but instead has only made it worse for them.  These girls and women are the patsies in the bigger scenario, a smoke screen to keep us from looking deeper at the real problem–the socially condoned inhumane treatment of females.

Perhaps we  should wake up and begin to realize that we live in a very unhealthy environment, especially for women and children, that perpetuates violence against females due to its hyper masculine, hierarchical, monetarily driven infrastructure.  That our ideals are warped and that our disrespect for women is systemic.  Perhaps we should focus on criminalizing the making of pornography and help the victims to get out by monetarily and emotionally supporting them?  We need to realize that girls and women because of limited financial choices and support and the perpetual ingrained idea that they are nothing but sex objects, that their worth is sex, nothing more, are being coerced into pornography. That especially vulnerable girls and women are being groomed by manipulative pimps into a life of sexual enslavement and despair.   They are the victims here, not the men who claim to be “addicted” to porn.  Let’s heal the real disease here—PATRIARCHY.  If we as a society really gave a shit about women we would stand up and say, enough is enough and stop it in its tracks instead of debating whether or not men are addicted to porn.

If we did not live in patriarchy and its capitalist, military environment and were all born equal regardless of our sex and allowed to be emotional human beings without being forced into gender roles and heterosexuality, both sexes could be healthy, non violent and respectful of each other. Further, the idea of prostitution, trafficking and pornography would be completely frowned upon because the entire society, all human beings would never allow such disrespect. Since we understand historically that testosterone in the peach tree dish of patriarchy can limit empathy in males then we would keep this in mind and never promote the hyper testosterone ideology that we currently do in patriarchal societies. Further, we might also ensure that all leadership has equal amounts of females and males or even better and safer, more females than males because we know that the male propensity towards domination and violence is something we must be leery of. We’ve seen it in action.

Unfortunately, our hyper masculine culture serves the elite and because one of the handy dandy symptoms of hyper masculinity is fear and because fear of violence promotes hyper consumerism this will not change until we dismantle the current leadership which are predominantly males who have all the money.  Since at least the USA is completely run by money, this will not be an easy task and further, because pornography is monetarily lucrative, eliminating it will be difficult—-but we must try.  If we focus on pornography as an addiction that is harming men, then nothing will change except more pain and suffering for females and more of the same attention on males. If we focus all of our energy on pornography as a symptom of a larger disease and work on dismantling patriarchy, we can save all of humanity.

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6 Responses to “Hear Ye, Hear Ye, Read all About it! Men are Victims to Pornography!”

  1. yumicpcake November 18, 2013 at 5:12 am #

    Lol, I do believe they are bull shittin about the whole thing. Nothing but junk pseudo science. You are completely right, it is the macho Grand Old Patriarchal garbage that raises boys and men to lack empathy. Pornography does it too. I make my voice heard every single time someone tells a boy to man up and quit crying. Children’s emotions are huge when they are small and hard for them to control. Boys will gain more control as they get older just as girls do and we should let them cry when they are hurting because those sweet little boy’s emotions are just as important as any little girl. Keep fighting the good fight…it’s hard but our numbers are always growing and even some men are joining the ranks against misogyny!!

  2. Hecuba November 21, 2013 at 7:08 pm #

    Hear hear She Has The Power because this latest male created excuse is being promoted all the time. The poor males who make the choice to view porn are now suffering from that syndrome called ‘porn addiction.’ Get the violins out women because the menz can’t help they have an addiction so therefore mustn’t be held accountable for endorsing/consuming filmed male sexual violence against women and girls.

    Oh yes the menz will claim ‘it is those porn female stars who are to blame because they tempted men to enact what these female porn stars freely did for money!! Poor menz they claim they are the rational sex and yet these men are supposedly incapable of rationality but instead are ruled by their dicks!

    Men however blame women for everything and one example is men claiming ‘the woman is responsible for allowing her male partner to subject her to violence because she didn’t leave him!’ Another example is women are responsible for preventing male sexual predators from raping them – because the male sexual predators have no agency and do not make the choice to sexually prey on women and girls.

    Given men are the ones accorded socio-economic power over women it makes sense the dominated claim they are victims – not the oppressed. Meaning of course men are the real victims whereas we women have so much power we just don’t realise it!

  3. Day Train November 23, 2013 at 12:29 pm #

    I say the reason men bully other men out of showing emotion has way more to do with the fact that they don’t want to deal with that shit, it pulls them out of their narcissism. Also worth examining is the fact that men don’t have as much to cry about in the first place.

  4. nereidafilomena December 7, 2013 at 4:01 pm #

    oh teh pour menz!

    • Jennie December 21, 2013 at 9:08 am #

      These poor male “victims” seem to not want to acknowledge the fact that MEN are directing these violent videos, and are the ones truly profiting from their distribution. The actresses are usually unfortunately in a bad position in their lives where they need quick cash. Some have drug issues. Most are under the influence of drugs or alcohol when they are being told what to do in these ridiculously violent and misogynistic videos. And the videos are just getting worse over time. Patriarchal society LOVES to blame women for ALL of society’s shortcomings and problems. Why aren’t the male “porn addicts” getting angry @ the pigs who create and write the scripts for these porn films? Because it’s easier to blame the women. The women are the ones suffering in these videos and in prostitution! The johns hardly ever get reprimanded from paying girls and women to RAPE them! What a shitty society we live in as women. I am tired of it. Some scumbags were talking graphically about women that they have “had.” I got up and moved to another subway seat! They obviously felt entitled to speak like this in the presence of women on the train. Fuck them and fuck the patriarchy!!

  5. Lisa December 1, 2014 at 9:11 pm #

    This is what has been called hyper-masculinity, this idea that men are made to be too testosterone-y and are losing their healthy emotional-ness. But I’ll direct you to the many cultures where men don’t act hyper-masculine and in these places women are still seen as inferior in almost every way except in the easiest but most tedious tasks which are then made out to be silly women things. Not to mention women are still hated and abused by men. For instance in the Sudan and in some parts of the Middle East men hold hands in a non-homosexual context (lol obviously) but in many parts of the Middle East women are viewed as servants and in Sidan they have become strongly Christian or Muslim (read femininity in men is shameful). Also, Indian men aren’t hyper-masculine (in fact, outside the west no men really are) and women in India are treated horribly.
    Radical Feminists believe that it is in the nature of men to be hateful of women and to be sexual abusers. Looking at the behavior of most nonhuman mammalian males should make this quite obvious. Men are competitive and sexually aggressive because of nature, because of evolution. Now many male species are said to have dominant males, and we misunderstand this to mean dominant over females, but this is not the case–they are mostly dominant over other males. Remember dominant is just a word male scientists attributed to these males that chase off other males and are followed/tolerated by the females. Scientists like to make it seem as if the dom male is respected and beloved by the females but mostly they are either ambivalent to him or he uses his greater size and strength to bully them. Also female animals tend to show much more diversity in their individual behavior, often displaying aggression then cooperation, selfishness then apparent altruism. Whereas the dominant males display mostly the obsession with mating and chasing other males of their property. I’m not sure about non dominant males–they aren’t talked about as much.
    This goes back to my thinking that it’s ironic when especially men will insist that males and females are inherently different. Yet they believe because men are so beholden to their natural masculine traits women are likewise equally beholden to their feminine traits. However, in the natural world females often are observed rebelling against the status qua. Examples: female lions fending off free-roaming males because they chose to keep their cubs alive rather than submit to the males lions (this is despite showing fear of the males’ larger size), the many species of animals where females always resist the males attempts to mate (think cats, otters), females monkeys chasing off a so-called dominant male who has hurt an infant. Males are never observed to be rebelling against the natural order.

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